This too shall pass.......

Do you know what happens when you are SURE of something as a parent? Life teaches you a cruel cruel lesson.
As many of you all know... I have pretty stubborn, headstrong, independent, loud crazy children. Which has given me some pretty incredible life lessons in humility and patience. BUT... the other day in talking with my mother in law (and I do appreciate those talks SO MUCH - she gets me completely) I told her that after Rohan I was pretty sure nothing Kade could/would could ever compare to Rohan. She has her moments for sure - but Ro took the cake for behaviour issues. I mean he had his whole fear of cars so I could rarely go out for a few months, his complete inability to deal with change, his wild and crazy tantrums, the fact that he never forgets ANYTHING you say or do.... he was definitely a difficult child. And too smart for his own good.

Yesterday I was proven wrong. AGAIN.

You may remember Kade's excitement for dance class . She decided she wanted to go and I signed her up. Her idea. She wanted to do it. I was hesitant as she is incredibly afraid of strangers still, and does not like being the center of attention. But she did it. And for the next 2 classes after this post she went into class all by herself. I was sure we were making progress in this shy little girls life.

The thing is she isn't shy really. At home, or aunties she is loud, bossy, right in the middle of every ruckus. She is outgoing, a tattletale.... you would NEVER think she was shy at all seeing her in her comfort zone. But put her in public and she shuts down.

This ismy recent post that details the last 2 weeks of class and my near tears experiences. But she keeps wanting to go. She keeps telling everyone how much she loves it. Keeps practicing at home. She gets dressed happily, into the car, runs into the building and up the steps, sits patiently waiting for class... then she freezes.

Yesterday was the worst. I think it is over. I can not deal with this. I don't understand her. I was never this kid and just don't get it.

Yesterday she went into class with me. Parents are not really allowed.. but I did. I though wahoooo the right track again. But no. She wouldn't let the teacher come near her. Hid behind me. Wouldn't go participate with the other girls just sat with me. I had Ro and Jax with me waiting in the waiting room so I told her about 1/2 way through with no progress we were going to leave. I just said - it's ok Kade. You tried. Now we have to go home. I can't see the boys and need to find them. So we leave the room. She then bursts into tears.. I want to go to dance mommy. I want to go. So I say ok - go ahead and I'll find the boys. No mommy I want you to watch. OK Kade I will. So I go in with her again. AGAIN she sits with me and will not join in. So I tell her we have to go.

The tantrum started. Screaming, clawing, kicking, going limp (her signature move), the throwing herself around. I picked her up, took the boys and ran for the door. I had to put her down to grab my purse and she ran SCREAMING back into the waiting room. Horrified I had to grab this kid who was completely out of control in front of these parents.......

Made it outside where she bit me so hard I dropped her. She ran into the street. Thank goodness the boys were staring in horror watching this... I didn't have to worry they would move!!! I was crying at this point. Grabbed her and literally had to hold her by a leg and an arm - whe was flailing and going limp so much this was the only way I could hold her. Had to put her down to get the keys and yep she ran right out into the parking lot.

Everyone was crying by this point. The boys just wanted to go home. So did I. But I could not physically keep her in the van. I would cram her in her seat, buckle her (which the fact that I could is amazing. She was crazy. Like possessed) then run to the front to get in my seat. She would already be out and right behind me.

Crying I had to phone my sister to bring me my car so she could take Jaxon home. So she did. And I bawled some more.

We got home and Kade went straight to bed. Exhausted I fell into a TV coma. Thank goodness for Thursday night TV!!!

Now... I need help. We don't know what to do. I am cancelling her enrollment. This is too much.
But she LOVES LOVES dancing and I want her to have a GOOD experience..... I need recommendations. We need to know what we SHOULD do.

Poor little girl....

So. This morning she was up early. So we got up and came downstairs.

And then we watched this together.

And for a moment all was right in the world again.
And I remembered... this too shall pass.

And then 2 hrs later my phone rang. It was the school. Looking for Rohan. I thought he had the day off. I was wrong. What else is knew????